What Have You Done With Love?

by Pastor Mitch Horton | March 2001

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death." (1 John 3:14).

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love." (1 John 4:7-8).

"A new commandment I give you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35).

"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."(Romans 5:5).

No doubt that Jesus shocked His disciples with the introduction of a new commandment to them in John 13. As Jews living under the Old Covenant, they already had an impossible time living the ten that they already had! But this eleventh commandment really made them "scratch their heads," so to speak. "Nobody could love the way the Son of God does," was a probable comment they made to each other.

The Jews entered the Old Covenant through the circumcision of the flesh. Their covenant with God consisted of outward duty to obey the ten laws, the ten commandments. It was all outward, and did not affect their hearts.

As believers, we enter the New Covenant through the new birth, called the "circumcision of the heart" in Romans 2:29. Our relationship with the Lord is inward rather than outward, and produces a change in our spirits. Our circumcision is spiritual rather than physical, and is lived out as God strips away the dominion of the flesh.

"In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by the putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ." (Colossians 2:11). "Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin." (Romans 6:6).

The disciples and the Old Covenant believers did not have access to the love that this New Covenant circumcision places in our hearts. They tried to obey the law through rigid outward obedience to its demands, yet selfishness ruled them from within.

When we New Covenant believers allow our inward man through the new birth to rule us, then love dominates our lives.

Now when I mention love, most people would say, "well, of course I love people, because everybody has the capacity to love!" But the natural human love that is common to humanity is not the kind of love that Jesus spoke of as the new commandment, and is not the love that is the evidence of being a Christian!

One common Greek word for love is "PHILEO." Phileo love is a reciprocal love. Its treatment of others is based on the response it receives. The basis for phileo love is self-satisfaction. It is based on the pleasure it receives from the person it is loving. The problem with phileo is that it stops loving and giving to others when it is no longer pleased. Phileo can actually mimic the love of God in the way it reaches out to help the needy, the forsaken, the helpless, or the one it esteems highly! But when the object of its affection no longer responds as desired, phileo love turns sour very quickly!

Theater screens and bookstores are loaded with stories of love abandoned and the subsequent selfish revenge that follows in the form of murder, rage, malice, and hatred. Of course, we know that when a homicide has occurred, the first place that law enforcement looks is at the closest family members. Why? Because phileo love easily turns into anger and hatred when it ceases to be pleased! It's a selfish love, and phileo love is the basic motivation of the human being without God. We Christians call it THE FLESH!

As the old tune goes, when "everything's going my way," we can all be pleasant. But when we cease to be pleased by those close to us, we tend to become angry, judgmental, critical, stubborn, and hard to live with! A classic example of good ‘ol phileo.

The good news is that Jesus has given us a new love. The Greek word for it is "AGAPE." This is the love that is mentioned in the scriptures at the beginning of this article.

This kind of love really shows the difference between the believer and the non-Christian. You will stick out in the crowd if you really allow agape to dominate your life!

The two words that sum up "in a nutshell" this agape love is unconditional and self-sacrificial.

First of all, agape love is unconditional. That is, there are no conditions attached to it. The object of agape's affections doesn't have to act or perform a certain way for this love to operate. It loves regardless of the actions or the response of others to it.

Agape's motives are not selfish. The motives of the person ruled by agape love are first of all the Glory of God, and secondly, the benefit and well-being of the person being loved. When agape love rules my life, I can love the unlovely, the unlovable, and the meanest, most trying person I know! Agape keeps on loving, keeps on giving, keeps on sowing kindness, keeps on overlooking the faults and failures of others; refuses to remember the wrongs done against it; harbors no desire whatever to get even with its enemies; never draws attention to itself. Instead, it sweetly and uncomplainingly continues to bless and give! There are simply no conditions attached to it.

Obviously, agape is not based on feelings. It's a love that is based on actions that are motivated by the recreated human spirit and not the flesh!

Agape is also self-sacrificial. It places itself last and others desires and wishes first! It sacrifices its comfort for the sake of another. When I allow agape to rule my life, my motivation is to please God and others before I am satisfied and before all my needs are met.

Agape is not based on the performance of others. It loves whether or not it is loved in return! Agape is based on the unchanging character of God!

And the good new is that the Holy Spirit has placed this awesome love in my spirit in the new birth! You and I really do have the capacity and the ability to love with this unconditional, self-sacrificial love.

We'll continue with this subject next month!

I encourage you to pray for yourself the prayer that Paul prayed for the church in Ephesians 3:14-20. Begin today to allow this new love to rule your life!